As domestic violence increases, how one woman is helping
This article is reprinted in full with permission from the author Gwendolyn Glenn of the Patuxent View Newspaper ([email protected]). I cannot improve upon it.
Norma Harley is manager of the Prince George’s County Sheriff Department’s domestic violence unit in Landover. She says her office receives between 1,300-1,500 peace and protective orders each month. (Photo by Don Watkins)
Growing up in Roanoke, Va., 45-year-old Valerie Nicholas said as a small child she endured physical, verbal and sexual abuse that began when she was only 8 years old.
Initially, it was the friends of her alcoholic father who abused her. Later, when she began dating as a teenager and up until a few years ago, Nicholas, now a resident of Laurel, went through numerous abusive relationships.
“I would ask myself, ‘What is it that allows me to take this abuse and think it’s normal?’ ” Nicholas said. “When I was at my lowest point, I said, ‘God if you will restore me, I’ll spend the rest of my life helping others deal with abuse.’
“It took many years of counseling, along with having a strong network of family, friends and church members for Nicholas to put that abusive past behind her. Now that she has, Nicholas is helping others break the cycle of abuse in their lives by telling them her story and working with victims and local officials through a nonprofit organization she founded, Love Is Not Enough (www.loveisnotenough.org).
“I want to go in the community to schools, churches, companies and on the streets to talk to domestic violence victims … and not tell them what to do, but give them options on what they can do,” she said. “I’ve done PSAs for the Sheriff’s Department, sat on panels on domestic violence and spoken at forums at Prince George’s Community College.”
Laurel and Prince George’s County officials applaud Nicholas’ efforts because they, as well as social work professionals, say domestic violence in the county and city is on the rise.
“It’s increasing not just with spouses, but with teenagers, and we’ve seen a 20 percent increase in men applying for protective orders over the past five years,” said Norma Harley, manager of the Prince George’s County Sheriff Department’s domestic violence intervention assistance unit.
“My office receives 1,300 to 1,500 peace and protective orders each month, but I see that as a positive because in the past, many people didn’t call or trust receiving assistance from law enforcement.
“Harley said the county has the second-highest rate of domestic violence assistance calls in Maryland — Baltimore is number one. Last year, 75 men, women and children died in the state as a result of domestic violence, according to the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence.
Locally, Laurel police officials said, domestic abuse cases here have increased by 5 percent over the past year.
“We get one call a day on domestic violence and it used to be all women, but men are being assaulted now, too,” said Lt. Robert Althoff, who oversees the Police Department’s domestic violence unit that consists of him and another officer. “Sometimes it’s parents arguing with children, but as far as true domestic violence between spouses, we see one to two cases a week.
“But as domestic abuse incidents are increasing, services for victims are not keeping pace. At a June 10 U.S. Senate hearing on violence against women, senators were told that according to the latest census, nationwide 60,500 people are assisted by domestic violence programs each day, and 9,000 others are turned down for assistance.
“There’s not much out there for domestic abuse victims and not many places to get them away from their homes,” said Pamela Lampley, clinical director for Reality Inc., a drug and alcohol treatment facility on Main Street. “A large population of our women were abused. We give those we see referrals to get help, but some return home after treatment here and we’ve known of several who’ve died tragically after going back into abusive homes.
“Tammie Yancey, a local counselor, believes there is more assistance for drug and alcohol abusers than for domestic violence victims in Laurel.
“There’s definitely a need for more resources to help these victims, especially where housing is concerned,” Yancey said. “Laurel needs more places where people can go to get out of their physically violent environments.”
According to the Maryland Network, nationally 63 percent of all homeless women are domestic violence victims. Many get referred to the House of Ruth in Washington, D.C., and area shelters. Oaklands and Laurel Presbyterian churches operate shelters, but they usually have a waiting list for their few beds. The same is the case at Laurel Advocacy and Referral Services, which has 10 apartments available for longer term housing for homeless families.
“We’re seeing a steady flow of domestic violence victims and although we are not a domestic violence agency, we never turn our backs on them,” said Nancy Graham, LARS’ executive director. “More than half of the homeless families in our transitional housing are domestic violence victims.
“For abused victims who come to the agency who are not in the referral service’s housing program, Graham said, “We refer them to those with expertise to help them, but if they need to leave their homes immediately, we get vouchers from the county to put them in hotels for two nights while we get them linked to the appropriate services.
“The need to do more for domestic violence victims has caught the attention of the Laurel Police Department, where officials are preparing to implement a more aggressive program for victims.
Currently, when police get a domestic violence call, in most cases they take a report and give the victim pamphlets from the Sheriff’s Department.
But now, inspired by discussions with Nicholas and other victims, Althoff said, “It’s time we step up and be more proactive. We’re trying to pull together counselors, professionals and advocates who can counsel the victims and help us do follow-up work with them. We’re taking baby steps now, but we want to go full speed later this month.
“That plan is in line with what Catherine Pierce, acting director of the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women, told senators at the hearing she’d like to see more law enforcers do.
“We can’t rely solely on the criminal justice system, but local groups and resources must be available and law enforcement must work with advocates and survivors,” Pierce said.
Althoff agreed and said the list he’s compiling of victims willing to assist them is especially important because he said, “Some victims don’t want to talk to strangers who haven’t been there, so we want to have people who’ve been abused, that they can relate to, for them to talk to. Victims have called me like Valerie (Nicholas), who’s on fire. She wants to share her story and let victims know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
“Through her organization, Nicholas plans to act as a mentor to domestic violence victims and she is applying for government grants so she can travel across the state this summer to reach out to domestic violence victims wherever she finds them.
Nicholas said, “I just want to provide a service to help people because this is not a job for me, but my ministry.”
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