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The Battered Woman’s Defense

Constance Camus — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 22:05:35 +0000

Disclaimer: Do Not Try This at Home.

The great jazz singer Dinah Washington sings “Send Me to the Electric Chair” from her Bessie Smith album
c.1958

Dinah Washington

And by the Dixie Chicks, Goodbye Earl:

Are Divorce Cakes a Half Baked Idea?

Constance Camus — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 14:00:05 +0000

A wedding is the manifestation of the joy of two people uniting in holy matrimony for life. Sadly, a divorce – not so much. Divorce becomes a battle field. It provokes bad behavior that shock the very person displaying it. It is a process, much like grieving. At the end of the process, the relief is enormous, with the realization of new found freedom and the alleviation of tumultuous strife.

Hence, the theme of most divorce cakes and/or divorce parties is the emphasis of a fresh start – and the end of a battle.

Lately, divorce cakes have become increasingly popular and are selling like hotcakes (pun intended). Most feature either the bride or the groom pushing the partner off the cake, or stabbing them in the back or otherwise inflicting some serious bodily harm. There are also predominant themes like blood, broken hearts and scattered luggage, some even during the honeymoon.

While some might consider the whole idea too violent to be funny, makers of such cakes are thrilled about the possibilities now available to them. Some people might consider it crass and insensitive while others may view it as a fitting end to a period in their lives, as well as a chance to celebrate. I like to introduce humor rather than something too sober or vindictive so I use lots of figurines interacting with each other. Divorce can be a horrible thing but comical divorce cakes help lighten the mood; per Fay Millar, a baker in Brighton, England in a report to the Daily Mail.

“I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of shouting to the world that they are back on the market. I think it used to be taboo to have such a thing as a divorce cake because it is not traditionally viewed as an event to celebrate. However, with people like Katie Price throwing divorce parties I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of celebrating the end of a relationship and shouting to the world they are back on the market.”

Below is a slideshow of the best divorce cakes online to date, compiled by yours truly- complete with music by Pink with her song “So What?”

Kids have Holes in their Souls in the Shape of their Dads

Constance Camus — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:06:40 +0000

Knock, Knock: Step Up Fathers, Your Children Need You

Daniel Beaty, at a Def Jam Poetry reading, is the powerful orator and poet that delivers a universal and timeless message to all men, black, white and blended. Take it, Daniel…

Here are but a few of the comments made on Youtube:

"We are the children of our parents, but, we do not have to live the legacy of our parent's choices."

"He's telling us that he retains the best qualities of his father but he doesn't need to be the same man, and so he won't end up in jail and wants others to gain from his experience and do the same."

"I'm going to show this to my kids. I'll tell them this is the kind of man they need to be; this is the kind of man they need to look for. This is why God invented poetry."

"Absolutely wonderful message of hope. I was moved to tears by his powerful and passionate poem! Fantastic message!!! God bless you, Daniel Beaty. You are going to be one hell of a father… your kids will be blessed!"

"One of my top three favorite poems. I have grown up without a dad and have heard poem after poem about the same situation and it seems that, more often than not, the poet plays the victim. We musn't play victims. This is powerful and uplifting, while still maintaining that undertone of loss and sadness. It is brilliant, he is brilliant. WE are brilliant, no matter our laundry lists of faults and short-comings."

"Oh, my Children, you have made an old activist swell with pride."

"Talk to a Lady, Walk like a Man.'' Fatherless boys, all to common these days. Knock Knock!!"

Credits: The title to this blog is a quote by Roland Warren, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative.

Domestic Violence: What Can the Judge Order?

Constance Camus — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 21:13:34 +0000

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROTECTIVE ORDERS IN MARYLAND:

What the Judge Can Order?

If the judge finds that the abuse did occur, s/he may order one (or all) of the following for up to one year:

Order the abuser to stop abusing you.
Order the abuser to stay away from you and to not try to contact you or harass you.
Order the abuser to stay out of your house.
If you are married to the abuser AND you were living with your abuser at the time of the abuse, the court can order him to leave the home where the two of you live for up to one year.
If you are not married to the abuser, but were living with him at the time of the abuse AND your name is on the lease or deed for the house OR you lived with the abuser for at least ninety (90) days within the past year, the court can order him to leave the home for up to one year.
Order the abuser to stay away from your job, your school, the place where you may be staying, from your children’s school(s), and from your family members’ homes.
Order that you be given temporary custody of any children that you have with the abuser for up to one year.
Order visitation between the abuser and the children unless your safety or the safety of the children is at risk (if you believe that it is, you should let the judge know).
If you are married, order the abuser to pay money to help support you during the order.
If you have children with the abuser, order the abuser to pay support for the children.
If you own a car with the abuser, the court may order that you have sole use of the car for the period of the order (you must tell the judge that the car is necessary in order to get you to work or to transport a child).
Order the abuser or you to participate in a counseling program.
Order the abuser to surrender firearms.

A qualified local lawyer is invaluable in litigating domestic violence cases and maximizing your protection and financial security. Many are denied the proper protection by the Courts because they attempt to represent themselves. There is much at stake. Protect yourself accordingly.

It’s All About The Children’s Best Interest – Not The Parents

Constance Camus — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 09:55:22 +0000

LITIGATING CHILD CUSTODY IN MARYLAND

A court, in order to determine custody, must first determine the best interest of the child. The Maryland Court of Appeals has stated that “[W]hen the custody of children is the question … the best interest of the children is the paramount fact. Rights of father and mother sink into insignificance before that.” Kartman v. Kartman, 163 Md. 19, 22,161 A. 269 (1932). The absolute obligation on the trial judge to undertake a thorough examination of all possible factors before determining child custody was forcefully set out by Judge McAuliffe in Taylor v. Taylor, 306 Md. 290, 303, 508 A.2d 964 (1986):

Formula or computer solutions in child custody matters are impossible because of the unique character of each case, and the subjective nature of the evaluations and decisions that must be made. At best we can discuss the major factors that should be considered in determining whether joint custody is appropriate, but in doing so we recognize that none has talismanic qualities, and that no single list of criteria will satisfy the demands of every case. We emphasize that in any child custody case, the paramount concern is the best interest of the child. …The best interest of the child is therefore not considered as one of many factors, but as the objective to which virtually all other factors speak.

The Taylor Court detailed the two basic forms of custody. These two forms are:

Legal custody carries with it the right and obligation to make long range decisions involving education, religious training, discipline, medical care, and other matters of major significance concerning the child’s life and welfare. Joint legal custody means that both parents have an equal voice in making those decisions, and neither parent’s rights are superior to the other.

Physical custody, on the other hand, means the right and obligation to provide a home for the child and to make the day-to-day decisions required during the time the child is actually with the parent having such custody.

Each type of custody can be broken down into either joint or sole. Therefore, joint legal custody means that each parent has the right to share in longer-range decision-making including education, religious training, medical care and other matters of significance regarding their children. Sole legal custody gives that right to only one parent. Joint physical custody means that the child or children share their time between the parents. There does not have to be an equal sharing of time in order to qualify as joint physical custody.

Taylor laid out fourteen factors for a court to consider in an award of joint custody:

Capacity of the parents to communicate and to reach share decisions affecting the child’s welfare;
Willingness of parents to share custody;
Fitness of parents;
Relationship established between the child and each parent;
Preference of the child;
Potential disruption of child’s social and school life;
Geographic proximity of parental homes;
Demands of Parental Employment;
Age and number of children;
Sincerity of parents’ request;
Financial status of the parents;
Impact on state or federal assistance;
Benefit to parents; and;
Other factors.

Taylor v. Taylor, 306 Md. 290, 303, 508 A.2d 964 (1986).

In Montgomery County v. Sanders, 38 Md. App. 406, 419, 381 A.2d 1154 (1977), Chief Judge Gilbert described what a child custody determination unavoidably calls for on the part of the judge:

Present methods for determining a child’s best interest are time-consuming; involve a multitude of intangible factors that ofttimes are ambiguous. The best interest standard is an amorphous notion, varying with each individual case, and resulting in its being open to attack as little more than judicial prognostication. The fact finder is called upon to evaluate the child’s life chances in each of the homes competing for custody and then to predict with whom the child will be better off in the future.

Judge Gilbert went on to catalogue some of the myriad factors that must be considered:

“What critics of the “judicial prognostication” overlook is that the court examines numerous factors and weighs the advantages and disadvantages of the alternative environments. The criteria for judicial determination includes, but is not limited to:

Fitness of the parents;
Character and reputation of the parties;
Desire of the natural parents and agreements between the parties;
Potentiality of maintaining natural family relations;
Preference of the child;
Material opportunities affecting the future life of the child;
Age, health and sex of the child;
Residences of parents and opportunity for visitation;
Length of separation from the natural parents, and;
Prior voluntary abandonment or surrender.

Montgomery County v. Sanders, 38 Md. App. 406, 420, 381 A.2d 1154 (1977).

Child custody cases require an experienced local family law lawyer. Family law lawyers concentrate their practices solely in family law and are experienced in successfully presenting the proper evidence to the Judge. Thus, when deciding upon proper representation in litigating the custody of your child (or of your children), it is also incumbent upon you, as a parent, to consider what is in their “best interest.” This is not a time to cut corners.