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What Type of Family Law Attorney Do You Really Need: Lamb, Pit Bull, or Fox?

Constance Camus — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 23:19:25 +0000

Potential clients often want to know “what type of lawyer” we are. What they are really wondering is “are you aggressive enough” for them (whatever that might mean in that person’s mind). The problem is that the vast majority of the time, potential clients don’t really know what type of lawyer they truly need for their case. All too often, clients mistakenly believe that they need the most aggressive attorney to be found to handle their case, when in all actuality, hiring such a person will do nothing but make their case last longer, cost more, and potentially end with worse results.

One of the premier family law bloggers, Michael Sherman, wrote an excellent article several months ago discussing this very issue. He analyzed the different styles that family law attorneys utilize in representing their clients, particularly what he classifies as “the lamb, the pit bull and the fox.” Michael absolutely nailed this issue, and I couldn’t agree more with his assessment of this issue. His observations of these personas are listed below:

Lamb Lawyer

The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow. They are reactive, not proactive. They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should. The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable. Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.

Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite. They hate to settle cases. In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases. It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.”

Pit Bull Lawyer

The truth is that often they do this simply to develop and maintain a reputation as “Bad Leroy Brown…baddest man in the whole damn town.” When a spouse is angry and in the emotional stage of wanting to exact revenge, they want to be the name on everyone’s lips when that aggrieved spouse asks their neighbor who is the meanest SOB in town. And, so they work hard to maintain that reputation because it makes them a lot of money.

The sad part is that acting like a pit bull is rarely, if ever, in their own client’s best interests. Of course, the pit bull’s main concern is not their client. If you know anything about pit bulls, you will know that they are very aggressive and vicious. But, they are not thinking animals. They act only on instinct. When they fight, they not only destroy the dog they are fighting, but by their own actions hurt themselves and anything else around them (which often includes their own client’s and their client’s children). The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client. Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.

Wily Fox Lawyer

The fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.

When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs! Instead, find yourself a fox.

Source: ”The Style of Your Divoce Lawyer: The Lamb, the Pit Bull, and the Fox“ by Michael Sherman, published at his Alabama Family Law Blog and J. Benjamin Stevens

Are Divorce Cakes a Half Baked Idea?

Constance Camus — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:11:05 +0000

A wedding is the manifestation of the joy felt in the union of two people uniting in holy matrimony for life. Sadly, a divorce – not so much… To say the very least, it often provokes behavior that surprises even the individual displaying it. It is a process, much like grieving. At the end of the process, there is a rush of enormous relief, with the realization of new found freedom and the alleviation of tumultuous strife.

Hence, the theme of most divorce cakes and/or divorce parties is the emphasis of a fresh start – and the end of a battle.

Lately, divorce cakes have become increasingly popular and are selling like hotcakes (pun intended). Most feature either the bride or the groom pushing the partner off the cake, or stabbing them in the back or otherwise inflicting some serious bodily harm. There are also predominant themes like blood, broken hearts and scattered luggage, some even during the honeymoon.

While some might consider the whole idea too violent to be funny, makers of such cakes are thrilled about the possibilities now available to them. Some people might consider it crass and insensitive while others may view it as a fitting end to a period in their lives; as well as a chance to have a good party. I like to introduce humor rather than something too sober or vindictive so I use lots of figurines interacting with each other. Divorce can be a horrible thing but I would like to think comical divorce cakes can help lighten the mood a little; per Fay Millar, a baker in Brighton, England in a report to the Daily Mail.

“I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of shouting to the world that they are back on the market. I think it used to be taboo to have such a thing as a divorce cake because it is not traditionally viewed as an event to celebrate. However, with people like Katie Price throwing divorce parties I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of celebrating the end of a relationship and shouting to the world they are back on the market.”

Below is a slideshow of the best divorce cakes online to date, compiled by yours truly- complete with music by Pink with her song “So What?”

Maryland Online Child Support Calculator

Constance Camus — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:30:48 +0000

The Maryland Department of Human Resources has developed an online child support calculator. The amount of child support a court may order for any particular case may be different from the amount estimated by the calculator. The intent of this calculator is informational. It does not constitute legal advice. The child support calculator is based on statutory guidelines. Click here for child support calculator.

This online application program will assist you in completing a Child Support Worksheet. This worksheet estimates the child support obligation that a court may order a parent to pay toward support of the child(ren) on a monthly basis. Under Maryland law, there is a rebuttable presumption that the amount of child support, which would result from the use of these guidelines, is the correct amount of support to be awarded; however, a court may choose to deviate from the guidelines under certain circumstances.

Domestic Violence: Facing Abuse

Constance Camus — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:58:37 +0000

As domestic violence increases, how one woman is helping

This article is reprinted in full with permission from the author Gwendolyn Glenn of the Patuxent View Newspaper (gglenn@patuxent.com). I cannot improve upon it.

Norma Harley is manager of the Prince George’s County Sheriff Department’s domestic violence unit in Landover. She says her office receives between 1,300-1,500 peace and protective orders each month. (Photo by Don Watkins)

Growing up in Roanoke, Va., 45-year-old Valerie Nicholas said as a small child she endured physical, verbal and sexual abuse that began when she was only 8 years old.

Initially, it was the friends of her alcoholic father who abused her. Later, when she began dating as a teenager and up until a few years ago, Nicholas, now a resident of Laurel, went through numerous abusive relationships.

“I would ask myself, ‘What is it that allows me to take this abuse and think it’s normal?’ ” Nicholas said. “When I was at my lowest point, I said, ‘God if you will restore me, I’ll spend the rest of my life helping others deal with abuse.’

“It took many years of counseling, along with having a strong network of family, friends and church members for Nicholas to put that abusive past behind her. Now that she has, Nicholas is helping others break the cycle of abuse in their lives by telling them her story and working with victims and local officials through a nonprofit organization she founded, Love Is Not Enough (www.loveisnotenough.org).

“I want to go in the community to schools, churches, companies and on the streets to talk to domestic violence victims … and not tell them what to do, but give them options on what they can do,” she said. “I’ve done PSAs for the Sheriff’s Department, sat on panels on domestic violence and spoken at forums at Prince George’s Community College.”

Laurel and Prince George’s County officials applaud Nicholas’ efforts because they, as well as social work professionals, say domestic violence in the county and city is on the rise.

“It’s increasing not just with spouses, but with teenagers, and we’ve seen a 20 percent increase in men applying for protective orders over the past five years,” said Norma Harley, manager of the Prince George’s County Sheriff Department’s domestic violence intervention assistance unit.

“My office receives 1,300 to 1,500 peace and protective orders each month, but I see that as a positive because in the past, many people didn’t call or trust receiving assistance from law enforcement.

“Harley said the county has the second-highest rate of domestic violence assistance calls in Maryland — Baltimore is number one. Last year, 75 men, women and children died in the state as a result of domestic violence, according to the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence.

Locally, Laurel police officials said, domestic abuse cases here have increased by 5 percent over the past year.

“We get one call a day on domestic violence and it used to be all women, but men are being assaulted now, too,” said Lt. Robert Althoff, who oversees the Police Department’s domestic violence unit that consists of him and another officer. “Sometimes it’s parents arguing with children, but as far as true domestic violence between spouses, we see one to two cases a week.

“But as domestic abuse incidents are increasing, services for victims are not keeping pace. At a June 10 U.S. Senate hearing on violence against women, senators were told that according to the latest census, nationwide 60,500 people are assisted by domestic violence programs each day, and 9,000 others are turned down for assistance.

“There’s not much out there for domestic abuse victims and not many places to get them away from their homes,” said Pamela Lampley, clinical director for Reality Inc., a drug and alcohol treatment facility on Main Street. “A large population of our women were abused. We give those we see referrals to get help, but some return home after treatment here and we’ve known of several who’ve died tragically after going back into abusive homes.

“Tammie Yancey, a local counselor, believes there is more assistance for drug and alcohol abusers than for domestic violence victims in Laurel.

“There’s definitely a need for more resources to help these victims, especially where housing is concerned,” Yancey said. “Laurel needs more places where people can go to get out of their physically violent environments.”

According to the Maryland Network, nationally 63 percent of all homeless women are domestic violence victims. Many get referred to the House of Ruth in Washington, D.C., and area shelters. Oaklands and Laurel Presbyterian churches operate shelters, but they usually have a waiting list for their few beds. The same is the case at Laurel Advocacy and Referral Services, which has 10 apartments available for longer term housing for homeless families.

“We’re seeing a steady flow of domestic violence victims and although we are not a domestic violence agency, we never turn our backs on them,” said Nancy Graham, LARS’ executive director. “More than half of the homeless families in our transitional housing are domestic violence victims.

“For abused victims who come to the agency who are not in the referral service’s housing program, Graham said, “We refer them to those with expertise to help them, but if they need to leave their homes immediately, we get vouchers from the county to put them in hotels for two nights while we get them linked to the appropriate services.

“The need to do more for domestic violence victims has caught the attention of the Laurel Police Department, where officials are preparing to implement a more aggressive program for victims.

Currently, when police get a domestic violence call, in most cases they take a report and give the victim pamphlets from the Sheriff’s Department.

But now, inspired by discussions with Nicholas and other victims, Althoff said, “It’s time we step up and be more proactive. We’re trying to pull together counselors, professionals and advocates who can counsel the victims and help us do follow-up work with them. We’re taking baby steps now, but we want to go full speed later this month.

“That plan is in line with what Catherine Pierce, acting director of the Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women, told senators at the hearing she’d like to see more law enforcers do.

“We can’t rely solely on the criminal justice system, but local groups and resources must be available and law enforcement must work with advocates and survivors,” Pierce said.

Althoff agreed and said the list he’s compiling of victims willing to assist them is especially important because he said, “Some victims don’t want to talk to strangers who haven’t been there, so we want to have people who’ve been abused, that they can relate to, for them to talk to. Victims have called me like Valerie (Nicholas), who’s on fire. She wants to share her story and let victims know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

“Through her organization, Nicholas plans to act as a mentor to domestic violence victims and she is applying for government grants so she can travel across the state this summer to reach out to domestic violence victims wherever she finds them.

Nicholas said, “I just want to provide a service to help people because this is not a job for me, but my ministry.”

Portrait of a Newly Divorced Man-Child

Constance Camus — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:48:16 +0000

This needs no explanation. Even if it did, I have none.

Conceived by Adam Pally, shot by Chris Kula.