marylandtriallawyer.netDeception | marylandtriallawyer.net

Knock Knock, Father … I’m forgetting who you are

Constance Camus — Tue, 24 May 2011 13:39:01 +0000

A powerful poet delivers a flawless message. One of the best parts in this phenomenal piece is when Mr. Beaty says: “Yes, we are our fathers’ sons and daughters, But we are not their choices.” So many young men and women need to hear and understand this truth. The truth is that children in dysfunctional families have a choice whether they will fall victim to their upbringing. Although a toxic household can crush their self-esteem, cloud their vision, and thwart normal loving relationships, the distortion of their natural instincts can be reversed. They must see the problems of their elders as an example of how not to conduct one’s self. By so doing, they are empowered and can set themselves free to become the person they were created to be. Healed and whole.

As a boy, I shared a game with my father—
Played it every morning till I was three.
He would knock knock on my door,
And I’d pretend to be asleep till he got right next to the bed.
Then I would get up and jump into his arms.
“Good morning, Papa.”
And my Papa, he would tell me that he loved me.
We shared a game,
Knock knock,
Until that day when the knock never came,
And my Mama takes me on a ride past cornfields
on this never-ending highway
Till we reach a place of high rusty gates.
A confused little boy,
I enter the building carried in my Mama’s arms.
Knock knock.
We reach a room of windows and brown faces.
Behind one of the windows sits my father.
I jump out of my Mama’s arms and run joyously towards my Papa’s,
Only to be confronted by this window.
I knock knock trying to break through the glass,
Trying to get to my father.
I knock knock as my Mama pulls me away
Before my Papa even says a word.
And for years, he has never said a word.
And so, 25 years later, I write these words
For the little boy in me who still awaits his Papa’s knock.
“Papa, come home, ‘cause I miss you.
I miss you waking me up in the morning and telling me you love me.
Papa, come home, ‘cause there’s things I don’t know,
And I thought maybe you could teach me
How to shave,
How to dribble a ball,
How to talk to a lady,
How to walk like a man.
Papa, come home, ‘cause I decided awhile back
I want to be just like you, but I’m forgetting who you are.”
And 25 years later, a little boy cries.
And so I write these words and try to heal
And try to father myself.
And I dream up a father
Who says the words my father did not.
“Dear son, I’m sorry I never came home.
For ever lesson I failed to teach, hear these words:
‘Shave in one direction with strong deliberate strokes
To avoid irritation.
Dribble the page with the brilliance of your ballpoint pen.
Walk like a God, and your Goddess will come to you.
No longer will I be there to knock on your door,
So you must learn to knock for yourself.
Knock knock down doors of racism and poverty that I could not.
Knock knock on doors of opportunity
For the lost brilliance of the black men who crowd these cells.
Knock knock with diligence for the sake of your children.
Knock knock for me.
For as long as you are free,
These prison gates cannot contain my spirit.
The best of me still lives in you.
Knock knock with the knowledge that you are my son,
But you are not my choices.”
Yes, we are our fathers’ sons and daughters,
But we are not their choices.
For despite their absences,
We are still here,
Still alive,
Still breathing,
With the power to change this world
One little boy and girl at a time.
Knock knock,
Who’s there?
We are.

Daniel Beaty

Poet, writer, performer

When Getting Beaten By Your Husband Is A Pre-Existing Condition

Constance Camus — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:02:08 +0000

Facts revealed in the following reports by Ryan Grim of the Huffington Post, the Service Employees International Union “SEIU” and the video by Young Turks, will shock even the most desensitized of consciences. Here we have yet another blatant example that greed rules our once great and compassionate country.

Our country is in moral decay. Hand in hand with the prevalence of greed, strolls incivility. La te da. The last few days are prime examples of the many despicable public displays – Serena Williams, Kanye West, and Congressman Wilson. Unfortunately, in my own profession there is an alarming increase in bad behavior amongst attorneys. Don’t laugh – it wasn’t always that way… Many of us were taught that one did not have to be disagreeable to disagree. But that is a conversation for another day.

However, when one connects the dots of just these two sad realities – greed and incivility – the picture becomes clear – the raging narcissists and insidious sociopaths are running the asylum. We are in a fight for the very soul of civilization.

The strength of our republic lies in the middle class. Who else is there….but just us? (Pun intended.) It is past the time for action.

I digress. More on that later. Back to the main story. In the articles below, note the identity of the eight companies Rep. Charles Schumer found in 1995 that refused to write health, life or disability policies for women who have been abused. Perhaps a call to your insurance agent or the insurance commissioner of your state would at least serve to let them know we have not been lulled us into complacency; they have not dumbed us down and good and decent people do outnumber the raging lunatics attracting the media attention. Here are the 2007 insurance company executive salaries, should you need any incentive:

ANNUAL COMPENSATION 2007:

* Ronald A. Williams, Chair/ CEO, Aetna Inc., $23,045,834
* H. Edward Hanway, Chair/ CEO, Cigna Corp, $30.16 million
* David B. Snow, Jr, Chair/ CEO, Medco Health, $21.76 million
* Michael B. MCallister, CEO, Humana Inc, $20.06 million
* Stephen J. Hemsley, CEO, UnitedHealth Group, $13,164,529
* Angela F. Braly, President/ CEO, Wellpoint, $9,094,771
* Dale B. Wolf, CEO, Coventry Health Care, $20.86 million
* Jay M. Gellert, President/ CEO, Health Net, $16.65 million
* William C. Van Faasen, Chairman, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Mass., $3 million plus $16.4 million in retirement benefits
* Charlie Baker, President/ CEO, Harvard Pilgrim Health Care, $1.5 million
* James Roosevelt, Jr., CEO, Tufts Associated Health Plans, $1.3 million
* Cleve L. Killingsworth, President/CEO Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts, $3.6 million
* Raymond McCaskey, CEO, Health Care Service Corp (Blue Cross Blue Shield), $10.3 million
* Daniel P. McCartney, CEO, Healthcare Services Group, Inc, $1,061,513
* Daniel Loepp, CEO, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, $1,657,555
* Todd S. Farha, CEO, WellCare Health Plans, $5,270,825
* Michael F. Neidorff, CEO, Centene Corp, $8,750,751

With that, the Young Turks:

The Service Employees International Union “SEIU” initially reported on this story. They have organized a call to action. Please heed the call.

Words cannot describe the sheer inhumanity of this claim. It serves as yet further proof that our insurance system is broken, destroyed by the profit-mongering of the very companies whose sole purpose should be to provide Americans with access to care when they need it most. In 1994, an informal survey conducted by the Subcommittee on Crime and Criminal Justice of the United States Senate Judiciary Committee revealed that 8 of the 16 largest insurers in the country used domestic violence as a factor when deciding whether to extend coverage and how much to charge if coverage was extended.

It is clear that insurance companies refuse to police themselves. It’s up to us to call on Congress to take action now to pass health care reform and end discrimination against patients with pre-existing conditions.

Ryan Grim of the Huffington Post writes:

With the White House zeroing in on the insurance-industry practice of discriminating against clients based on pre-existing conditions, administration allies are calling attention to how broadly insurers interpret the term to maximize profits.

How many tears must we shed?

It turns out that in eight states, plus the District of Columbia, getting beaten up by your spouse is a pre-existing condition.

Under the cold logic of the insurance industry, it makes perfect sense: If you are in a marriage with someone who has beaten you in the past, you’re more likely to get beaten again than the average person and are therefore more expensive to insure.

In human terms, it’s a second punishment for a victim of domestic violence.

In 2006, Democrats tried to end the practice. An amendment introduced by Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash.), now a member of leadership, split the Health Education Labor & Pensions Committee 10-10. The tie meant that the measure failed.

All ten no votes were Republicans, including Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyoming), a member of the “Gang of Six” on the Finance Committee who are hashing out a bipartisan bill. A spokesman for Enzi didn’t immediately return a call from Huffington Post.

At the time, Enzi defended his vote by saying that such regulations could increase the price of insurance and make it out of reach for more people. “If you have no insurance, it doesn’t matter what services are mandated by the state,” he said, according to a CQ Today item from March 15th, 2006.

Robert Zirkelbach, a spokesman for an insurance industry trade group, America’s Health Insurance Plans (AHIP), said that the National Association of Insurance Commissioners (NAIC) has proposed ending the discrimination. “The NAIC has a model on this that we strongly supported. That model bans the use of a person’s status as a victim of domestic violence in making a decision on coverage,” he said.

During the last health care reform push, in 1993 and 1994, the industry similarly promised to end discrimination against people with pre-existing conditions.

Murray pushed to include the domestic violence concern in this year’s comprehensive health care bill. “Senator Murray continues to believe that victims of domestic violence should not be punished for the crimes of their abusers. That is why she worked to include language in the Senate HELP Committee’s health insurance reform bill that would ban this discriminatory and harmful insurance company practice,” said spokesman Eli Zupnick.

In 1994, then-Rep. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), now a member of Senate leadership, had his staff survey 16 insurance companies. He found that eight would not write health, life or disability policies for women who have been abused. In 1995, the Boston Globe found that Nationwide, Allstate, State Farm, Aetna, Metropolitan Life, The Equitable Companies, First Colony Life, The Prudential and the Principal Financial Group had all either canceled or denied coverage to women who’d been beaten.

The Service Employees International Union asked members to write letters to Congress regarding the exclusion and have quickly generated hundreds, says an SEIU spokeswoman.

The relevant provision:

SEC. 2706. PROHIBITING DISCRIMINATION AGAINST INDIVIDUAL PARTICIPANTS AND BENEFICIARIES BASED ON HEALTH STATUS.

(a) IN GENERAL.–A group health plan and a health insurance issuer offering group or individual health insurance coverage may not establish rules for eligibility (including continued eligibility) of any individual to enroll under the terms of the plan or coverage based on any of the following health status-related factors in relation to the individual or a dependent of the individual:

(1) Health status.

(2) Medical condition (including both physical and mental illnesses)

(3) Claims experience.

(4) Receipt of health care.

(5) Medical history.

(6) Genetic information.

(7) Evidence of insurability (including conditions arising out of acts of domestic violence).

(8) Disability.

(9) Any other health status-related factor determined appropriate by the Secretary.

UPDATE: The eight states that still allow it are Idaho, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota and Wyoming, according to a report by the National Women’s Law Center.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

Ryan Grim of the Huffington Post.

In 1979, Bob Dylan wrote this song and it is as true today as it was relevant then:

Bob Dylan

When You Gonna Wake Up?

God don’t make no promises that He don’t keep.
You got some big dreams, baby, but in order to dream you gotta still be asleep.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

Counterfeit philosophies have polluted all of your thoughts.
Karl Marx has got ya by the throat, Henry Kissinger’s got you tied up in knots.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

You got innocent men in jail, your insane asylums are filled,
You got unrighteous doctors dealing drugs that’ll never cure your ills.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

You got men who can’t hold their peace and women who can’t control their tongues,
The rich seduce the poor and the old are seduced by the young.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

Adulterers in churches and pornography in the schools,
You got gangsters in power and lawbreakers making rules.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

Spiritual advisors and gurus to guide your every move,
Instant inner peace and every step you take has got to be approved.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

Do you ever wonder just what God requires?
You think He’s just an errand boy to satisfy your wandering desires.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

You can’t take it with you and you know that it’s too worthless to be sold,
They tell you, “Time is money” as if your life was worth its weight in gold.

When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up
When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?

There’s a Man up on a cross and He’s been crucified.
Do you have any idea why or for who He died?

Copyright © 1979 Special Rider Music

UPDATE from SEIU:

In eight states, it is legal for insurance companies to deny coverage to victims of domestic violence, classifying it as a “pre-existing condition.”

This week, the U.S. House Subcommittee on Domestic Policy is conducting hearings examining insurance company interference with patient-doctor decisions. We’re asking the Subcommittee Chairman Rep. Dennis Kucinich to question the insurance industry on whether they’ve denied claims based on domestic violence in the past, and to pledge to never discriminate against victims of domestic violence.

Tell Rep. Kucinich: Demand Answers from the Insurance Industry on Claiming Domestic Violence as a “Pre-Existing Condition”

No one should be denied health care coverage, least of all, people who have already endured so much.

Urge Rep. Kucinich to publicly question insurance companies on this practice during his hearings on Sept. 16th & 17th. Go here to participate.

Divorce Humor: What the Hell Were You Thinking?

Constance Camus — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:49:30 +0000

Funny Divorce Letter about Poetic Justice

See Ya!

Anyone with an ex-husband, or about to have an ex-husband, should appreciate this video. By an ex-wife.

If you leave me, can I come too?

A photo tribute to IF YOU LEAVE ME…. the comedy song – with lyrics by Amanda Green and music by Skip Kennon – performed live at NYC’s Second Stage Theatre by Jesse Tyler Ferguson, accompanied by Tom Kitt. From the CD “Put a Little Love In Your Mouth: The Songs of Amanda Green.” Contact info: starfighterllc@aol.com. Video designed by Route Design Technology.

A Tale of Default Divorce By Deception

Constance Camus — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 02:52:38 +0000

ALL IS NOT FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR: A TALE OF A DEFAULT DIVORCE BY DECEPTION

In the previous Family Law blog dated March 8, 2009, this writer discussed the ability to obtain a limited divorce under Maryland law, despite the facts the parties remain in the same home. However, there are certain situations which may arise that one must protect against. One of those dangers was demonstrated in another Maryland case, Wells v. Wells, 168 Md. App. 382 (2006). Opinion by Eyler, D., J.

In this case, the parties resided in the same house with their child at all relevant times until the divorce was granted. When the sheriff advised the wife that she had to vacate the home because a divorce had been granted, the mother was shocked. She alleged in her motion to vacate the divorce decree that her husband had told her the summons was a separation agreement, that she and husband had reconciled and remained together as married persons, that she never saw the notices of hearings or default judgment and that husband had kept such notices from her as he sorted the mail. The trial court denied her motions without a hearing. The Court of Special Appeals, however, cited the authority in this matter, another Maryland case, Flynn v. May, 157 Md. App. 389 (2004) which established that on the question of child custody, “a default judgment cannot substitute for a full evidentiary hearing when a court, in order to determine custody, must first determine the best interest of the child.”

Thus, the finding of the appellate court was that the trial court abused its discretion by denying the wife’s motion to vacate the default divorce judgment as to all issues except the decision to grant the divorce. On the issue of divorce, the trial court abused its discretion by denying the wife’s motion without holding an evidentiary hearing and making a factual finding on the issue of fraud.

All is not fair in love and war. Take heed.