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What Type of Family Law Attorney Do You Really Need: Lamb, Pit Bull, or Fox?

Constance Camus — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 23:19:25 +0000

Potential clients often want to know “what type of lawyer” we are. What they are really wondering is “are you aggressive enough” for them (whatever that might mean in that person’s mind). The problem is that the vast majority of the time, potential clients don’t really know what type of lawyer they truly need for their case. All too often, clients mistakenly believe that they need the most aggressive attorney to be found to handle their case, when in all actuality, hiring such a person will do nothing but make their case last longer, cost more, and potentially end with worse results.

One of the premier family law bloggers, Michael Sherman, wrote an excellent article several months ago discussing this very issue. He analyzed the different styles that family law attorneys utilize in representing their clients, particularly what he classifies as “the lamb, the pit bull and the fox.” Michael absolutely nailed this issue, and I couldn’t agree more with his assessment of this issue. His observations of these personas are listed below:

Lamb Lawyer

The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow. They are reactive, not proactive. They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should. The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable. Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.

Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite. They hate to settle cases. In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases. It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.”

Pit Bull Lawyer

The truth is that often they do this simply to develop and maintain a reputation as “Bad Leroy Brown…baddest man in the whole damn town.” When a spouse is angry and in the emotional stage of wanting to exact revenge, they want to be the name on everyone’s lips when that aggrieved spouse asks their neighbor who is the meanest SOB in town. And, so they work hard to maintain that reputation because it makes them a lot of money.

The sad part is that acting like a pit bull is rarely, if ever, in their own client’s best interests. Of course, the pit bull’s main concern is not their client. If you know anything about pit bulls, you will know that they are very aggressive and vicious. But, they are not thinking animals. They act only on instinct. When they fight, they not only destroy the dog they are fighting, but by their own actions hurt themselves and anything else around them (which often includes their own client’s and their client’s children). The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client. Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.

Wily Fox Lawyer

The fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.

When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs! Instead, find yourself a fox.

Source: ”The Style of Your Divoce Lawyer: The Lamb, the Pit Bull, and the Fox“ by Michael Sherman, published at his Alabama Family Law Blog and J. Benjamin Stevens

Civility located in the animal kingdom

Constance Camus — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 14:16:23 +0000

Has anyone else noticed that the animal kingdom now behaves better than the human race?


	Extraordinary Love between the Species

Are Divorce Cakes a Half Baked Idea?

Constance Camus — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:11:05 +0000

A wedding is the manifestation of the joy felt in the union of two people uniting in holy matrimony for life. Sadly, a divorce – not so much… To say the very least, it often provokes behavior that surprises even the individual displaying it. It is a process, much like grieving. At the end of the process, there is a rush of enormous relief, with the realization of new found freedom and the alleviation of tumultuous strife.

Hence, the theme of most divorce cakes and/or divorce parties is the emphasis of a fresh start – and the end of a battle.

Lately, divorce cakes have become increasingly popular and are selling like hotcakes (pun intended). Most feature either the bride or the groom pushing the partner off the cake, or stabbing them in the back or otherwise inflicting some serious bodily harm. There are also predominant themes like blood, broken hearts and scattered luggage, some even during the honeymoon.

While some might consider the whole idea too violent to be funny, makers of such cakes are thrilled about the possibilities now available to them. Some people might consider it crass and insensitive while others may view it as a fitting end to a period in their lives; as well as a chance to have a good party. I like to introduce humor rather than something too sober or vindictive so I use lots of figurines interacting with each other. Divorce can be a horrible thing but I would like to think comical divorce cakes can help lighten the mood a little; per Fay Millar, a baker in Brighton, England in a report to the Daily Mail.

“I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of shouting to the world that they are back on the market. I think it used to be taboo to have such a thing as a divorce cake because it is not traditionally viewed as an event to celebrate. However, with people like Katie Price throwing divorce parties I think people are definitely coming round to the idea of celebrating the end of a relationship and shouting to the world they are back on the market.”

Below is a slideshow of the best divorce cakes online to date, compiled by yours truly- complete with music by Pink with her song “So What?”

“Love is All You Need” sung in 156 Countries

Constance Camus — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:29:34 +0000

Redemption. An absolute total global redemption song, as it were, for Starbucks. Simply brilliant.

In one fell swoop, we all feel a bit better about the countless $4 coffees purchased from Starbucks. The company created their Love Project when on December 7, 2009, citizens of 156 countries united and sang “All You Need is Love” by the Beatles to spread AIDS awareness.

On December 3, 2009, Starbucks posted this notice on their YouTube channel:

In one amazing moment, the world will come together to sing about the one thing we all have in common love. People from around the world will sing the legendary hit “All You Need is Love” in a single voice on December 7, 2009 at 8:30 am EST. The global sing-along is part of our continuing efforts to help fight AIDS in Africa. In just one year in partnership with (RED)™, Starbucks has generated money equivalent to more than 7 million days of medicine to help those living with HIV in Africa.

You can watch the event, and lend your own voice, when you visit [StarbucksLoveProject.com]. Watch streaming video from countries around the world and then join in by singing “All You Need is Love” yourself. For each video submitted, Starbucks will make a contribution to the Global Fund to help fight against AIDS in Africa. You can also help increase the Starbucks contribution to the Global Fund by submitting a drawing to the Love Gallery.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama once said: “Among the many forms in which the human spirit has tried to express its innermost yearnings and perceptions, music is perhaps the most universal. It symbolizes the yearnings for harmony, with oneself and with others, with nature and with the spiritual and sacred within us and around us. There is something in music that transcends and unites. This is evident in the sacred music of every community – music that expresses the universal yearning that is shared by people all over the globe.”

Love is truly all there is…

Chris Brown is Literally the Dumbest Man Alive

Constance Camus — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:19:25 +0000