Geoffrey Welchman, the mind behind www.inversedeliruim.com has a new podcast on ‘legal humor.’ My blog www.marylandtriallawyer.net show is mentioned. My parents must be so proud!

We don’t mean to get litigious, but here’s Webisode 27! Listen as we explore the funny barrister subculture! Thrill to the sound of a worst-case microwave scenario! And gasp in amazement as our brave Host sits down for a tattoo!

Which reminds me of my favorite lawyer joke:  What do you get when you cross a lawyer with an alligator….

…a litigator! (But you knew that.)

Related posts:

1. Marylandtriallawyer.net selected as Featured Blog by Blogging Women
2. Marylandtriallawyer.net named one of the 100 Best Blogs for Career-Minded Students
3. Divorce Humor: What the Hell Were You Thinking?

CLERK: Please repeat after me: “I swear by Almighty God…”

WITNESS: I swear by Almighty God.

For when one palm doesn't cut it

CLERK: That the evidence that I give…

WITNESS: That’s right.

CLERK: Repeat it.

WITNESS: Repeat it.

CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.

WITNESS: What you said when?

CLERK: That the evidence that I give…

WITNESS: That the evidence that I give.

CLERK: Shall be the truth and…

WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!

CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: “Shall be the truth and…”

WITNESS: I’m not a scholar, you know.

CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me:

“Shall be the truth and…”

WITNESS: Shall be the truth and.

CLERK: Say: “Nothing…”.

WITNESS: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)

CLERK: No! Don’t say nothing. Say: “Nothing but the truth…”

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Can’t you say: “Nothing but the truth…?”

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Well? Do so.

WITNESS: You’re confusing me.

CLERK: Just say: “Nothing but the truth…”

WITNESS: Is that all?

CLERK: Yes.

WITNESS: Okay. I understand.

CLERK: Then say it.

WITNESS: What?

CLERK: “Nothing but the truth…”

WITNESS: But I do! That’s just it.

CLERK: You must say: “Nothing but the truth…”

WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!

CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words:

“Nothing,” “But,” “The” “Truth.”

WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?

CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.

WITNESS: “Nothing. But. The. Truth.”

CLERK: Thank you.

WITNESS: I’m just not a scholar you know…

- From a case in Alabama

Related posts:

1. Direct Examination Gone Horribly Wrong
2. Carol Burnett as Court Clerk – Hilarious Video
3. Depositions Gone Awry

Related posts:

1. JK Wedding Entrance (and Exit Divorce) Dance Viral Videos
2. Carol Burnett as Court Clerk – Hilarious Video
3. Direct Examination Gone Horribly Wrong

Related posts:

1. Carol Burnett as Court Clerk – Hilarious Video
2. Who’s on First? A Coen Brothers Courtroom
3. JK Wedding Entrance (and Exit Divorce) Dance Viral Videos

Related posts:

1. Depositions Gone Awry
2. Who’s on First? A Coen Brothers Courtroom
3. Direct Examination Gone Horribly Wrong